Her Relationship With Sir

When Sir and I met, neither of us actually thought we’d be a good match. We met at a kink education conference, TESfest, and I thought He was sincere and as dedicated to power exchange as I was, though He was brand new to the lifestyle, and I was already several years in and was seeking an experienced Dominant. He said He was monogamous and lived a couple hours away from where I was living in Manhattan, NYC. I said I was poly and was not looking to move anytime soon so that marked us off of each other’s radar.

After the conference I sent a message to Sir in the hopes of becoming just friends and that we may be able to assist each other in our *separate* search for partners. I already had a dominant partner I saw once a week and was seeking another Dominant partner to only augment the need for more power exchange while also fulfilling my need for a “nesting partner” aiming towards a future together of child-less cohabitation and marriage, D/s & kinky sex, world travel and non-monogamy.

My message gave the impression that I was interested in Sir as this candidate and even as unlikely as it was, we fell for each other’s wit and humor and our foundational need for power exchange. We both came to the table with exceptional communication skills and the ability to really inspire the other. Sir’s financial freedom from the daily grind allowed him to spend a great amount of time with me in NYC and my work grants an exceptional amount of vacation days that allowed me to spend a great deal of time in Pennsylvania with Him. I was collared about 6 months in, during a private ceremony at my favorite location in NYC.

At the time of this writing, we are approaching our anniversary of my collaring and we have found a smooth rhythm. It requires tweaks and correction and regular communication to sustain our dynamic and it is a pleasure and an honor to do so.

We have rituals, protocols and directives that guide the dynamic. I serve Him by following them and He serves the relationship by enforcing them.

I aspire to continue serving Him to the best of my ability and to have a life and dynamic that is sustainably joyous and full of pleasure and wonder. His preferences are greater than my preferences, though my preferences are still great and I aspire to always be a good girl for Him.

I acknowledge my shortcomings and I aim to manage them, though my strategy is always to leverage my strengths to both minimize the weaknesses and provide the utmost excellence in the areas that are natural to me. It is a tried and true business strategy and it applies greatly as a strategy to the individual as well. Being excellent at what is natural provides greater joy than the strain of trying to do what is unnatural and there is usually greater payoff and consistency for the natural excellence model.

• Consistency – In our dynamic, I appreciate the consistency since the earliest days of getting to know one another. I never have to worry that expectations may abruptly change or that something He said will ever not match His actions. I trust Him and this makes me feel safe and secure.
• Intelligence – Sir’s affinity for doing proper research and always reading the legal fine print gives Him access to a great amount of data to process and he does this so efficiently and effectively. I typically do very well processing information and making decisions on my own, though it is refreshing to be able to trust Him fully to do it on my behalf because of the trust I have in His intelligence and diligence.
• Humor – Sir has the ability to make people He’s never met laugh to their stomachs. His cheerfulness brings light and joy to me and whomever we spend our time with. It’s His natural demeanor and it brings us closer to people who are similarly joyful and it seems to also deter negative conversations before they can take hold.
• Stability – Sir has a long term view on life and most things in it. He values total benefits over immediate gratification. Psychologically, Sir keeps His calm and makes meaningful productive conversation a priority; Sir breaks away from conversation temporarily during the rare moments He needs to cool His temper. Sir talks through difficult topics to get at the core underlying motivations to determine how to address them – whether that be to modify the mentality or to see if there are healthier alternatives to satisfy the motivations. Financially, Sir is adamant about investing to secure a comfortable future.
• Transparency – With the exception of intentional short term surprises, Sir clearly explains both His plans and also the reasons for those plans. If Sir is pleased, He showers praise; if Sir is disappointed, Sir identifies what displeased Him and explains why it was unpleasant and what should be done in the future. Sir freely shares His emotions and passions. He is particularly careful to share if His poor mood resulted from something unrelated to me; it is very comforting to know that I have not caused His fleeting unhappiness.