About Me

Simple cooking.

Informative reading, audiobooks, and seminars.

Games that involve strategy, planning and resource management such as “Eurogames.” I also enjoy games that require creativity and social knowledge such as Dixit or Codenames. I travel globally for Magic the Gathering competitions.

Creating efficiencies (organizing, automating, etc.) for future time savings.

Picking things up and putting them back down. Also pumping my legs very hard without going anywhere. As such, I spend a lot of time in the gym.

Listening to music. I enjoy most genres. I prefer instrumentals (e.g. European/Chinese/Latin classical) for reading and generally play blues/rock derivatives when I am active.

Exercising in nature.

I want a long term committed relationship first and foremost. I want honesty, transparency, service, emotional availability, sexual gratification, and bonding through shared experiences. I believe healthy authority-based (aka power exchange, M/s, or D/s) relationships offer and require these aspects in abundance. I find authority-based the deepest and most fulfilling relationship style, yet I think more than shared interest in D/s is necessary to form a strong foundation for a relationship.

Nonsexual dominance has appealed to me since elementary school (when I started wrestling and playing football) and sexual dominance has appealed since puberty and especially since my 30s. I am more Dominant than Sadistic. I savor the control and submission from an ongoing and omnipresent M/s relationship. I enjoy sadism primarily as a way to heighten the appreciation and assert, accentuate, refresh, reinforce, and celebrate the underlying D/s dynamic.

I appreciate service, deference and discomfort while acting to please me. I enjoy pain as a side effect of pleasure, such as during rough sex; my pleasure takes precedence over my submissive’s comfort. Further, knowing my submissive is enduring something for my benefit can heighten my enjoyment; this is particularly true for passive discomfort (e.g. heels, clamps, plugs) and physical exertion (e.g. squatting, Kegel balls, serving in beautifully difficult positions). I enjoy remaining mentally, emotionally and sexually engaged throughout the day. I relish keeping my lover at a heightened sense of arousal, stoking desire and tantalizing relief.

Masochists are assured that I would demand the pain craved despite sadism not being my priority. I may give pain freely, make it a reward for good behavior, or require pleading to make it even more appealing to me. (Begging for use and abuse is lovely to witness and a very enticing expression of enthusiastic consent.) I may withhold pain too as a corrective punishment for a masochist.

I am a quick-witted extrovert. If there is an opportunity to make an excellent (or awful) pun, I will probably make it. I am simultaneously critical and optimistic.

My Myers-Briggs Personality type is ENTJ aka a “Commander” who are “decisive people who love momentum and accomplishment. They gather information to construct their creative visions but rarely hesitate for long before acting on them.”

The “N” for Intuitive is only slightly more than my inclination to be Sensing “S”. An ESTJ is an “Executive.” “They possess great fortitude, emphatically following their own sensible judgment. They often serve as a stabilizing force among others, able to offer solid direction amid adversity.”

Of “The Five Love Languages” I am most interested in Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Quality Time.

40 years old, 6’3″, brown hair, blue eyes, short (half-inch) beard, aerobically fit, and drug free (alcohol and 420 socially, in moderation).  I am passively losing weight through intentional eating, a primarily low-carb diet, increased exercise, and increased peace. I started at 364 lbs, am now at 280 lbs, and working towards the maintainable goal of a “3-pack” of two abs at 220 lbs. I jog-walked my first marathon in 2020 in under 6 hours and am working towards getting my time under 4 hours by April 2023.

I have invested enough for a middle class income without needing to work. I am frugal yet hate to be cheap. I would prefer to plan ahead than ever experience want.

I enjoy working for intellectual stimulation. I am a part time landlord, collectibles dealer, and professional engineer. My primary professional focus is BDSM-friendly counseling.

I was raised Catholic but I got better. I defected due to the systemic atrocities still being caused in the 21st century by the Catholic Church. I consider myself a non-denominational Christian, though I practice rarely. The value system affects my decisions even if I am far from evangelizing. It is fine if my partner is agnostic, shares my religion, or has another religion.

Since late 2019 I have dabbled in secular Buddhism for self-refinement. Since the summer of 2020, I practice pragmatic vegetarianism; my primary concern is the quality of life of the animal. I will not purchase industrial meat or eggs; I will eat meat that I hunt or am offered socially. I do not anticipate ever going fully vegan.

I am socially liberal and fiscally conservative. I believe the government should stay out of bedrooms, wallets and polite conversation. I am politically inactive; my main involvement in politics is voting in local primaries where my vote can matter. I socialize well with the gamut from communists to anarcho-capitalists. I prefer socializing with those slightly left of center, as I am socially left of center; political fiscal concerns have very little bearing on pleasant socialization.

I find source information much more useful than amalgamations of data. Still, some might find these a useful snapshot:

100% Master/Mistress
99% Dominant
97% Owner
97% Rigger
96% Daddy/Mommy
96% Non-monogamist
90% Voyeur
89% Sadist
66% Primal (Hunter)
66% Experimentalist
60% Degrader
57% Exhibitionist
50% Ageplayer
40% Brat tamer
25% Switch
12% Vanilla
8% Primal (Prey)

I take the long view. I want what is best for me and those I love. I value quality over pride; I temper my confidence with self-criticism. I usually know when I should know more on a subject and fervently seek knowledge and counsel accordingly. I also appreciate unsolicited opinions as opportunities for insight. I trust my decisions more than others’ and as such want to have the responsibility and privilege to have the final say in most circumstances. In an authority-based relationship, I expect to have the final say unless I defer that decision.

One of my greatest strengths strategically, and shortcomings socially, is seeking the basis behind a belief, especially before a large commitment of time or money.

When making a decision, I prioritize interests in the following decreasing order:  my sub’s needs, my needs, my desires, my sub’s desires, my whim or amusement. In other words, I prioritize my sub’s needs before my own, and my desires trump my sub’s desires. I consider this essential for being a good Dominant; a Dominant should prioritize the needs of Their sub higher than Their own needs to be deserving of dominance and their trust – i.e. having Their desires being prioritized over Their submissive’s desires.

I offer care, structure, nurture, support and the opportunity to serve an appreciative intelligent man. Through introductory consideration, and ongoing over time, I will learn everything I can about my sub – her needs, her desires, her fears, her aspirations, her ideals. I will meet those needs as best I know and learn how, in the ways most meaningful to her, within a structure of her serving me. After my sub has sufficient trust and proven her commitment to serving, I may offer relief from responsibility through consensual slavery.

I tend towards open-monogamy or limited-polyamory because I believe the additional effort in maintaining multiple meaningful romantic relationships usually exceeds the benefits of a relatively small increase in satisfaction. As an engineer I often use a slightly more thorough version of the Pareto Principle: 90% of the solution IS the solution as there are diminishing returns on additional efforts. I consider polyamory beneficial when another is better aligned for certain activities or emotional needs. I find polyamory in sex and play more manageable than in time-intensive emotional relationships.

While I savor monopolizing my partner’s authority, I consider other outlets so they can have great experiences, especially where I realize another can provide those experiences better than myself. As for me, I enjoy variety and appreciate a pleased partner finding joy, and especially participating, in my relationships or play with others.